Picture
by Chikasumi Kurotsuki
Summary: A Clace one-shot about Jace and Clary trying to live life without the other. Based on the song Picture by Kid Rock. Summary doesn't do it justice and I hope you still read it!


Picture

**I told myself I wasn't going to post any one shots until I finished Love Story, but I can't help myself. (Just so you know I'm working on a long awaited chapter and I think I'm really close to the end.) So, here is another one shot between Clary and Jace. I've had this idea for a while now and wondered how they would react to Kid Rock's Picture. So as for the disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns the characters and everything Mortal Instruments, and Kid Rock owns the song Picture. I just connected the two and made up a story. Enjoy!**

_Jace_

I squinted my eyes at the sunlight coming through the curtains of my crappy motel room. It took me a few seconds to realize that there was another body beside me. I closed my eyes again and sighed and then tried to slide out of bed as quietly as possible to not wake the female in my bed. Rubbing my hands through my hair I made my way to the bathroom and showered. By the time I was done the girl was gone. No surprise there. It was Saturday and she had been the second girl so far this weekend.

Shrugging I looked at the clock and saw that it was already five in the evening, meaning it would be dark soon and I would be going out to get my next piece of tail. Grabbing the closest bottle of whisky I took a long hard swig and sat down in a chair and turned the TV on. Half way through the bottle I sat it down and looked at the table where my newest bag of cocaine lay. I knew better than to mix drugs with alcohol but it was my own Hell and I didn't want to care that it was bad for me. Just like how I wanted to have that one woman that meant the world to me and cared but I couldn't, that being part of the reason I went through women left and right.

Mindlessly finishing my bottle of whisky, I noticed it was already dark outside. It was a wonder I didn't become a vampire and the light didn't hurt my eyes, I hadn't seen the sunlight the in the last three days. I went out at night and partied hard and slept most the day, accompanied with a long line of drugs and alcohol and sometimes some hot piece of tail.

With a sigh I got up and put on my shoes and with a quick glance at the picture I had placed on the night stand I went out. I walked the two blocks to the bar I had been going to the past few days and sat down in my usual spot. After several shots of different alcohols I started scanning the bar. It didn't take long for my eyes to fall on to a brunet just a few feet away wearing a tight, low cut top and black pants that seemed to be molded to her legs. As if she could feel my gaze on her, the girl looked up and smirked at me. I smirked back and made my way over. Several drinks, several dances, and about three hours later and we were back in my motel room, clothes thrown all over the place.

Turning on my side so that I could look at the picture on the nightstand I picked it up and placed it in the drawer. I couldn't bring myself to keep looking into her eyes, couldn't bare the pain that came with it, especially not with Aline lying next to me. A few hours later Aline was dressed and gone and it was just me. Feeling the pain starting to overwhelm me I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands and allowed the tears to fall. I missed her so much and there wasn't anything I could do about it. These past three days had been pure Hell, and it was entirely my own fault.

_Clary_

It took all of my will power to not throw the phone across the room. I knew where he was staying and had finally managed the courage to call him and nothing. Frustrated I went to the motel and asked the manager. The entire time I kept getting glances from people and Jordan, the manager of the motel, just shrugged and told me he couldn't do anything and that he was sorry with a halfhearted smile. But the entire time he had this odd look in his eyes, like he knew something he couldn't tell me.

Frustrated I went back home and made a bee-line for the kitchen and then sat down in front of the television with a bottle of cheap wine, not even bothering with a glass. The sun had gone down a while ago and I didn't see anything wrong with drinking my heartache away. After a while I finally decided to go out. Somewhere deep down inside I knew I shouldn't, that I should stay home and just go to bed, but I couldn't get my mind to quiet down. I just wanted to know where he was, to hear his voice, but that wasn't going to happen. After changing into a tight black dress I went out and went to a club, hoping to dance away my troubles.

Somehow between one song and another, a dark haired man with equally dark eyes managed to slide up next to me and after dancing and flirting I ended up bringing him home with me. Several hours into the morning I turned my head to see what time it was and my eyes caught the picture still on my night stand. Feeling a single tear escape my eye, I laid the picture frame face down. It was all too much; I couldn't look at his picture. Not when there was this dark haired man in my bed. I knew I was setting myself up, but I couldn't help but wonder what the heck he was doing, why he hadn't called or anything. Three days. There had been nothing in three days. Sighing I turned my head away and tried to get some sleep.

….

…

…..

_Jace_

I was with Alec as I walked towards our apartment when suddenly I caught sight of her bright hair and stopped. She looked up and paused long enough to smile a little. After the same old "how have you been" question we were quick to go our separate ways. Walking away I had to force myself to not look back at her, my heart aching. Life had been so much better with her.

I still had everything that reminded me of her, it was all in a box shoved and buried in the corner of my closet. I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of any of it, not when my life had actually had some purpose to it.  
Later that night after Alec had left with Magnus, which took a lot of persuasion and me telling him that I was fine, I pulled out a half empty bottle of whisky. (Something I told him I wouldn't do.) I couldn't help myself, but if Alec found out at least he wouldn't be as upset as if I had taken a hit of coke. I just couldn't do it. Seeing her after all this time was just too much. So, even though it had been a couple months since I had gone clean, I opened the bottle and took a big swig strait from the bottle. And I just kept drinking, until that bottle was empty and then I opened another and got half way through that one before I decided to call it quits and passed out on my couch, not wanting morning to come because I knew I'd have a major hang over and the pain would still be there in the morning. Because no matter how much I drank I never forgot, never, she was always there in the back of my mind. Haunting me.

_Clary_

I was busy texting Simon when I thought I heard a familiar voice and looked up. I immediately wished I hadn't. There, not more than two yards away was the golden haired man that had claimed my heart and then thrown it away. I saw that he was with Alec and the dark haired boy gave me an awkward smile. I smiled back the best I could. We traded pleasantries and asked how the other one was, both of us lying and saying just fine, and then went our separate ways.

As I neared the anime store I was supposed to be meeting Simon at I slowed down. My mind was racing and my chest felt heavy and it was getting hard to breath. I cursed under my breath and sat down on a nearby bench and put my head in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. It had been so long since the pain had hit me this hard. Yes, my days were grey, for lack of a better term, and not even art could get me out of my constant depressed mood. It hurt so much, seeing him again.

Once I could breathe normal again and I thought I could keep the pain out of my face I continued on my way to meet Simon. I wanted nothing more than to head back home and buy some cheap wine on the way, but I knew that if I suddenly told Simon that I couldn't make it he would know something was up and I didn't want that. So, forcing a semi-pleasant look onto my face, I made my way to where Simon was.

I managed to get through the few hours I spent with Simon and made it home as quickly as I could, with a bottle of strawberry wine. The minute I walked into my apartment I leaned against the closed door and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor. Not caring anymore I let the tears I had been holding back fall and opened the cheap bottle of alcohol and started to drink strait from the bottle.

I don't know how long I sat there but eventually I did get up and collapsed into bed, worn out not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well.

_Jace_

It wasn't another month when I saw her again. I stopped the minute I spotted her and tried to get my failing lungs to work. She looked me strait in the eye and had the most compassionate look in her eyes. I couldn't stand it. I put my head down and kept going to the closest bar and nearly ran to the bar stool. I just wanted to drink her away, or at least try for what had to be the thousandth time. But like always, no matter how hammered I got it didn't matter. I just wanted to make it all up to her, to go and apologize and ask if she would take me back. But I couldn't get myself to do it because I knew I would have to clean up and that meant I would have to live with the constant hollowness that had filled my heart and drinking until I blacked out seemed so much more appealing than having to live through the pain.

_Clary_

I stopped dead in my tracked when I saw him. He looked awful. I kept hoping he would just come home, but he never did. Deep down I knew he was sorry, that he was living through Hell just like I was, but at the same time I didn't want to try to ask him because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if he said no. That one word would tear me apart and I was already held together by thin frayed pieces of string. So instead of asking, I just keep living in this dark world that was created when he left.

After locking eyes for a few second he tore his gaze away and continued walking. I watched him enter a bar and I had to grit my teeth to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. Taking as deep of a breath as I could muster I continued my way to church and hoped that God could get me out of this slump and help me feel even a the littlest bit at piece.

A few months later after that day I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down and called his cell and got his voice mail, I left a message and continued to go through the box that had been under my bed collecting dust for the past six months. I hadn't been able to get him out of my head the past couple weeks and had even been dreaming of him.

Finally I found what I was looking for: his picture. I picked it up gently and held it against my chest, wishing that it was him in my arms and not a cold piece of metal and glass.

_Jace_

She had been haunting my thoughts and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get her out of my head. I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at the phone on the wall. Finally I broke down and called her. I got her voice mail and told her I wanted to see her, if she wanted to see me and hung up.

I sat down on the floor where I had strewn all of the things that reminded me the most of her on the floor. Picking up her picture, I gently ran my hand over the image. I didn't know why we were being the way we were, why we were living life this way, but I was done. I had cleaned up and finally decided to just live with the pain, which hadn't been as bad lately. Standing up I placed her picture back onto the night stand by my bed and checked my cell.

My heart stopped when I saw that I had one missed call from her. I quickly unlocked it and listened to my voice mail. I couldn't help the tears that ran down my face as I listened to her voice. Not caring what I looked like I grabbed my coat and ran out to the street. I took a subway to the closest location home and ran the rest of the way. Not letting myself think too much, I knocked on the door until it opened, revealing the beautiful redhead who owned my heart and soul.

_Clary_

I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened my door. There just a few feet away stood the man that my world next to revolved around, even when he wasn't present in it.

"Jace." I said softly, my voice no more than a whisper. He was breathing hard and his eyes were bright, as if he had been crying.

"Clary." He said, just as softly.

We just looked at each other for a few moments before we rushed towards each other at the same time and threw our arms around the other. I hugged him tight, afraid that the minute I let go he would disappear or I would wake up and find out that this was all a dream.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, kissing my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, everywhere but my mouth.

"I'm sorry to." I cried. Jace made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and I crushed my lips to his.

We broke apart, tears running down our face and our breathing heavy.

"Are you coming home?" I barely had the guts to ask. And when he answered my heart soared.

_Jace_

The look in her eyes was enough to both break my heart and make me feel like the only man living. I didn't want to ever hurt her again. I never wanted to leave her side.

"Yes, I'm coming home." I answered and crushed my lips back to hers. Finally, finally, I felt whole again.

**Well I hope you all liked it. Tell me your thoughts. And I will try my hardest to get the next chapter of both Hold On and Love Story up. **


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